In the days leading up to Toby’s birth, I was in quite a different state of mind compared with the lead up to my first son’s birth 2 years earlier. This time I knew what to expect and, coupled with having a 2 year old to keep up with, I had very little time to think about or dwell on the forthcoming birth. I had recorded a Self Hypnosis programme for the birth onto CD and listened to it whenever I could, but other than that I did not really do any preparation. My main concern was that my husband Phil would be there for the birth as he was working away in Paris. I even found out how much it would be to charter a helicopter from Heathrow to make sure he got here in time. Then one Friday about 2 weeks before my due date I began having very mild contractions. They began around 5 pm and by 9pm were fairly regular but very mild. As we were planning another home birth, we called our midwife who came over to see how I was doing. By 10 pm I had shipped my other son off to my mums and was very calm and relaxed. My midwife examined me and I was about 1 cm dilated so she decided to go home and we decided to go for a walk. And then it all stopped. By the morning we realised that it was simply a practice run. Well we had another 3 practice runs before the real thing. As a result Phil stayed home the entire time, as we just did not know when it would really begin.

A week after my due date I was beginning to feel quite fed up as I had had so many contractions on and off over three weeks, the baby was still not engaged and the midwives were talking about the dreaded plans for induction.. On Tuesday evening around 10pm as I was going to bed, my waters broke. I was so excited as that meant things would finally be happening even though I still was not having any contractions. We called my mum (again!) and our midwife who unfortunately was off duty, so we got hold of the on call midwife Jackie, who we had not met before. Jackie arrived around 11.30pm and felt my tummy. She looked a bit concerned and told us that the baby was still not engaged. She was concerned, as if my contractions started there was a chance that the cord may prolapse, that is come out before the baby, which could be very dangerous. She then advised that we ought to go into hospital to get checked out. I was really adamant that I did not want to go especially as the contractions had not started. By 1pm I agreed to go just to be checked out and then I would come back. Before we went in she was advised to do an internal examination to check that the cord had not already prolapsed. It was then she realised that she had made a mistake and the head was in fact fully engaged! I was very relieved as this meant I could stay at home for at lest another day if the contractions did not start. She then went off home and we all went to bed.

I could not sleep, as I was so excited and alert. I did lots of self Hypnosis and relaxation and patiently waited for the birth to start. At 6.30 I felt my first real contraction. By 7.30 they were coming fairly regularly and so we called my midwife Ria, who was on duty again. I was so thrilled as we had become good friends and she was very keen to be at the birth. By 8.30 I was 3 cm dilated so we reckoned on a good few hours yet. By 9.30 another 2 midwives had turned up - Judy and Jenny, a trainee midwife who would be witnessing her first ever birth. They all sat in the living room having tea and cake and chatting while I was very relaxed and comfortable in the little nesting area I had made for myself on our dinning room.

Around 11 we filled the birthing pool as the contractions were becoming more regular and closer together. By this point I was so relaxed that in my medical notes Ria had written “ Maggie asleep”. I had Phil with me talking softly to me, and stroking my hand. He only knew I was having a contraction because my breathing would change slightly. I felt so calm and at ease, almost as if I was floating on a soft white cloud. With each contraction I focused on my breathing and used lots of the visualisation I had practiced during the Self Hypnosis. I rolled my eyes up to the sky to help visualise and focus my mind away from the sensations. It was so easy and comforting knowing that each contraction only lasted about 10 deep breaths and then I could drift back to a semi conscious state. It was wonderful having just Phil with me, supporting me and encouraging me. After another hour or so I was beginning to feel that the contractions were just a bit to powerful and that soon I would feel “the pain” of labour. At that point I asked Ria if I could go in the water. She suggested that she check to make sure I was at least 5 cm. As she went off to get her things my next contraction brought with it that amazing, powerful sensation to start pushing. I quietly told Phil that I wanted to start pushing. Ria was unsure as she felt that I would not be ready (seeing as I had looked asleep for the last 2 hours). She asked if she could examine me and I said no as I was experiencing a contraction that lasted about 4 minutes non-stop. I was so desperate to push that I let her examine me and sure enough, I was 10 cm and the baby was on his way out. The pushing sensation is so powerful and all encompassing - there is nothing you can do but go with it. I had hoped to deliver in the water but at this stage I simply wanted to put every ounce of my being into bringing the baby into this world. I had built in a wonderful pain control mechanism for the second stage into my Hypnosis, so as my baby began to crown I was able to “turn down” the pain dial. I do remember my midwife saying “I know it hurts, just push through the pain” and I felt like saying,” no it does not - it is really OK” but I was far to busy! 9 minutes later the baby’s head emerged into this world. I felt so calm and exhilarated that I was able to stoke his warm soft head for ages before I delivered the rest of his body. After a minute or 2, Ria asked if I was going to push the rest of him out, and I just smiled and said not yet. I felt so strong, so peaceful, so primal, so serene, feeling the silkiness of his head as the rest of his body was still in my own body. When the next contraction came I hardly put in any effort and he slid calmly and easily into Phil’s arms.

As he was passed into my arms he looked up at me with these incredibly dark blue eyes. He looked so knowing, so worldly and yet so sensitive. He suckled straight away not taking his eyes off my face for a moment. The birth had been so amazing, so calm that I wanted to laugh and cry out with joy and so I did. Once the placenta was delivered, my new son and I got into the large warm birthing pool while Phil popped open a bottle of champagne. Ria, Judy and Jennifer joined me around the pool as we drank his health and chatted about the experience. An hour later, after several rounds of tea and toast, I got out of the pool as my first son came home to meet his new brother. He came over to us with a toy car and chocolate biscuit, gave me a kiss and put the biscuit on his new brother. He cuddled down with us for a few minutes while I talked to his grand mothers and then off he went to play…as if nothing major had really happened. He then spotted the pool full of water, so I got back in with him and his new brother Toby. Six hours after he was born, Toby finally fell asleep as we all continued to celebrate his birth.

If you would like more info on the techniques I used including the self Hypnosis Birth preparation CD then give me a call on 01428 712615 or go to www.natalhypnotherapy.co.uk . The range of CDs which I have developed based on my work with midwives and antenatal groups include:

• Overcome morning sickness
  
• Pregnancy relaxation (from 12 - 30 weeks)
  
• VBAC preparation
  
• Hopital birth preparation
  
• Fast Post Natal Recovery
  
• CDs are £15 inc P&P