Handy Hint

Ask you child questions that need more than a yes or no answer to develop her language skills.

When children play they're learning what they want. Often these will also be the things you want them to learn, but for some things they may need extra encouragement, like using the potty, washing or dressing themselves, learning what not to touch, and where it's not safe to run. It's worth thinking about how you do it.

Wait
Wait until you think your child is ready. Forcing something too soon usually ends in failure. You get cross and upset, your child gets cross and upset, and the whole thing becomes impossible. If it doesn't work out, leave it for a few weeks and try again.

Go Slow
Try not to make it seem too important. Your child may learn to eat with a spoon because it's fun, but will still want to be fed when he is tired, or may enjoy the first few times on the potty because you're so pleased, and then get bored with the idea. In time he will see that it is worth while learning to be more grown-up and independent.

Keep It Safe
If your child is under three years old he can't really understand why not to touch your stereo or pull leaves off your plants, so keep things you don't want touched well out of the way and you'll both be less frustrated. Time enough to learn about not touching when your child can understand why.

Encourage
Your happiness is your child's best reward for good behaviour. If you give your child a big smile, a cuddle or praise when he does something right your child is much more likely to try doing it again. Giving your child attention and praise for doing something right works much better than telling him off for doing something wrong.

Don't Expect Too Much
Don't ask for perfection or for instant success. It's safest to expect everything to take much longer than you'd hoped.

Set An Example
Whatever it may look like, your child does want to be like you and do what you do. So seeing you wash in the bath, brush your teeth or use the toilet does help.

Avoid Fuss
Avoid fuss and confrontation. Once something gets blown up, it can take longer and be much more difficult for everybody to calm down.

Be Firm
Children need you to decide some things for them, and need you to stick to your decisions. They need some firm guidelines. So try not to waver. You might start something like potty training, decide your child isn't ready, and give up for a while. That's fine, but a child who is in nappies one day, out the next and back in them the next, is bound to get confused.

Be Consistent
For the same reason, it's important that everybody involved in looking after your child is teaching more or less the same things in more or less the same way. If you and your partner, or you and your childminder do things very differently, your child won't learn so easily and may well play you off against each other.

Be Patient
Do what's right for your child, for you and for the way you live. It doesn't matter what the child next door can or can't do. Don't compete and don't ask your child to compete.