Handy Hint

To help your child learn to share, when you have friends over, give her a plate of biscuits and encourage her to offer them to the visitors first.

Your child's relationship with others can play a vital role in his life. Sharing is one of the first steps to friendships. A selfish toddler is normal and won't necessarily become a selfish adult. Research shows most children understand the concept of owning by around 22 months but don't learn to share until three or four years old. Try these simple tips to help your child develop.

Show Behaviour

Show your child the behaviour you want to encourage. When you share something with him explain what you're doing. 'Would you like a piece of my biscuit?', 'Have a taste of my milkshake.'. Say 'Mummy is sharing with you because it is kind and I'd like you to enjoy it too. Can I taste some of yours?'

Allow Time

Allow your child time to learn how to share. Try not to tell our child off ('You're so selfish') and don't force him to share ('You must give the toy to Rachel'). Don't force the issue. He may feel threatened if he thinks all his toys are up for grabs.

Give a Choice

Give your child a choice. Favourite toys may be too hard to share, so let him pack these away when friends visit, then encourage him to share those that are not so precious.

Favourite Toys

Make sure your child has some things that are his own. These can be kept in his own special drawer, while it is made clear that other games or toys are for everyone to share.

Teaching

Teach your child about sharing whenever the opportunity arises. 'Claire, if you can't share the scissors, we'll have to pack them away'; 'Luke, if you want a turn on the swing, ask nicely.' These lessons have to be taught over and over again.

Give Praise

Give lots of praise when your child does well. If he does share something with another child, praise him to show that it's a good thing. 'It was kind that you gave Mark a turn.'